Child custody can be one of the most emotionally challenging aspects of the divorce process. For parents unable to reach agreements on child-related matters, the conflict can escalate, creating stress for everyone involved—especially the children. In high-conflict custody cases, a Parenting Coordinator (PC) may serve as a valuable resource to manage disputes and keep the focus on the children’s well-being.
What Is a Parenting Coordinator?
A Parenting Coordinator is a neutral third party, often with a background in law, psychology, or social work, who assists parents in resolving disputes related to their custody agreement. Unlike a mediator, who works to help both parties reach a consensus during negotiations, a Parenting Coordinator is appointed after a custody order is already in place. Their role is to help enforce the terms of the agreement, facilitate communication, and make minor decisions when parents cannot reach an agreement on their own.
While a Parenting Coordinator cannot alter the court-ordered custody agreement, they can address day-to-day disputes and provide recommendations to the court if necessary. This streamlined process helps reduce repeated court appearances, which can be time-consuming, costly, and emotionally draining.
When Is a Parenting Coordinator Recommended?
Parenting Coordinators are typically recommended in high conflict child custody cases where:
- Frequent disputes arise: Parents are unable to agree on routine matters such as visitation schedules, extracurricular activities, or holiday arrangements.
- Communication is strained: Poor communication between parents leads to misunderstandings, hostility, or an inability to co-parent effectively.
- Children are affected: Prolonged conflict puts the children in the middle of disputes, negatively impacting their mental health and emotional stability.
- Courts may also appoint a Parenting Coordinator if one or both parents exhibit behavior that undermines the other’s role, such as interfering with visitation or making unilateral decisions about the children’s upbringing.
RELATED: Read about when and how child custody changes can be made.
How a Parenting Coordinator Can Help
The primary goal of a Parenting Coordinator is to reduce conflict, protect the children from the emotional toll of parental disagreements, and resolve disputes than cannot be agreed by the parties. They can assist in several ways:
- Improving Communication: PCs work with parents to establish clear, respectful, and child-focused communication methods, such as using email or parenting apps to avoid unnecessary confrontations.
- Facilitating Decision-Making: PCs help parents navigate disputes regarding school choices, medical care, extracurricular activities, and more. If parents cannot agree, the Parenting Coordinator may make recommendations to resolve the issue promptly.
- Reducing Court Involvement: By addressing disputes outside the courtroom, a Parenting Coordinator helps parents save time and money while reducing the stress of litigation.
- Focusing on the Best Interests of the Children: PCs keep the children’s needs at the center of discussions, ensuring decisions are made with the children’s well-being in mind.
- Providing Education and Resources: PCs often provide parents with tools, resources, or referrals for therapy or co-parenting classes to improve their ability to work together.
What to Expect from the Process
Once appointed, the Parenting Coordinator meets with both parents to understand the issues at hand, review the custody agreement or order, and set expectations for their role. They may hold joint sessions or meet with each parent individually, depending on the situation. The Parent Coordinator then addresses the issue(s) arising between the parties.
Parents are encouraged to approach the process with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. While a Parenting Coordinator can make recommendations or minor decisions, the goal is to empower parents to resolve disputes independently over time to avoid reliance on the Courts for decisions.
Is a Parenting Coordinator Right for Your Case?
High-conflict custody cases are challenging, but a Parenting Coordinator can be instrumental in reducing tension and fostering a healthier co-parenting relationship. If you’re struggling to navigate ongoing disputes with your co-parent, consult with your attorney to determine whether appointing a Parenting Coordinator could be beneficial for your family.
At Wilder Mahood McKinley & Oglesby, our experienced attorneys understand the complexities of high-conflict custody cases and work to find solutions that prioritize your children’s well-being. Contact us now to set up a consultation however it is most convenient for you— via telephone, video, or in person.
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